Obligation – To bloom or not?

Our lives are filled with obligations. Moral, emotional and physical!

As an individual it is mandated that we be responsible for our behavior – to our elders, peers and every other person we meet in our daily lives. Any unruly behavior, however justified, is looked down on. It becomes applicable in every role we play in our lives….

An employer is obliged to look after the well being of the people who work for him/her. A leader should be leading by example not just words. Fulfill one’s responsibilities even at the cost of personal loss- that is the obligation we carry all our lives!

We are often reminded that there are fixed guidelines of behavior being in a society. Often criticisms of our ways or attitudes, mostly at our backs and may be at times on our face, by even unknown people come our way.

But do we always have an obligation to behave in a socially acceptable way?  

Often we tend to forget that our personal growth and development are our prime responsibilities as a human being. To be ourselves and enjoy just being!

Isn’t our primary obligation to ourselves, to be true to ourselves? To bloom even in face of adversities?

“Papa look, ‘your boss’ is sleeping!

Most days, we forget that the children are watching!

We get caught up being adults, parents, or just being stressed about work or some other issue in our lives that we forget these little ones around us constantly observe us and imitate us.

Some recent instances (funny and equally educative) which made me internalize the change in behavior many of us require.

We went on a recent trip to Rishikesh with a resident of my DH. He was introduced many a time to different people as ‘his boss’ by the resident, while both the families were in the car. This particular day, we were travelling in the car which the resident was driving, my DH was sleeping in the front seat and the kids and I were in the back of the car. The kids ( my seven year old daughter and the resident’s three year old son had become quite fast friends and were chatting away) when out of the blue the three year old commented “Papa look, ‘your boss’ is sleeping!” The way he said it was quite funny and we had a hearty laugh. But this comment lingered on at the back of my mind.

The same boy presented me another chance of reflecting about how children emulate adults (whom they find interesting or may be even in general!) within no time…

My DH had a particular way of calling him “Ai Augie…” in a very deep voice and somewhat similar to the pitch and tone of Oggie in the cartoon ‘Oggie and the cockroaches’. It was very typical and only he could do it the way he did it. He might have called Augie that way may be 3 or 4 times on the first day and the next day we were told that Augie has started imitating the call! It was not perfect, I would say, but quite close…

I have many times found it amusing as well as annoying that our little girl keep misplacing my dupattas, bags and even make-up, after playing ‘being a lady going to office or shopping’. And I know it is not just my girl, it is every little girl who goes through such a phase! But I had always considered this kind of imitation just a girly behavior. This impression changed after this Rishikesh trip, these imitations of Augie and the innocent play of my little girl gave me so much to ruminate.

It’s nothing new, but these instances should not only remind us that children are very observant and imbibe a lot from the adults around but also should let us comprehend the importance of being the ideal role models.

Are we being the role models for our kids when fighting with our spouses?

Do we want our kids to be physically active? Are we doing it?

What about the values like responsibility, integrity? Are we practicing what we try to teach them?

“The leaders must set the example, the leaders must practice the virtues they demand from those who are in their care; they must be understanding, patient, enduring, full of sympathy and warm and friendly goodwill, not out of egoism to win friends for themselves, but out of generosity to be able to understand and help others. To forget oneself, one’s own likings and preferences, is indispensable in order to be a true leader.” (The Mother, CWMCE, Vol 12, pg 357-358)

Shouldn’t parents / teachers/ adults more like leaders for the kids around them?

Miracles galore!

Not accident or co-incidence leads you to Swamiji! It is the Divine play, at the right time and in the  right way!

It is His grace that calls you and when your being is open, miracles happen even before you are in His presence..

I was born in a traditional devout Christian family and hence when I got married into a hindu family, the cultural  shock was bigger for my parents than me. But then, since my husband is a disciple of Sri Aurobindo and The Mother, Hindu religious practices were not something regular (or for that matter, not even rare) in our home. With all this background how could I imagine, even in my wildest dreams, that I would ever come to the presence of the Guru who has been enriching, radiating Sanadana Hindu dharma? Or that I would ever become His ardent devotee and disciple?

My husband was the person who put the words ‘Inner Awakening’ to my ears. I agreed  to go along with him for the 25 days program without knowing anything about Swamiji or Inner Awakening program. But then, further discussion was not just as easy.

Questions galore popped up:

“Where will the money come from?”

“What about our kids as both of us are going?

“What happens to my work? I have only just taken over. How can I take leave for a month? How can  the principal just take one month off work? Who will substitute me?”

“What will the authorities say? They supported me when I needed it the most and now  just two months into the job, I am already going off for a month?”

This petty human mind- mad mad monkey with rabies, with tail on fire, being chased by a rabid dog whose tail is also on fire (to quote Mahayogini) -was trying to find all excuses for the both of us to not go for the program…

The Divine works in mysterious and miraculous ways, our being only has to be willing!

Money came from a personal loan, my parents consented to stay at our place for a month (even with all the language difficulty and despite the fact that they have never stayed in my house for more than two weeks) and my kids never objected even once to us going away for a month. It needs special mention that our younger one who has never stayed away from me for more than two days was even willing to do all her work on her own without troubling her granny.

As if this was not enough…

None of my co-workers or the staff raised a question. I only told them part of the reason about why I am going for a month, but not even one question or concern! The authorities were just as accommodating. It was as if Swamiji personally was clearing all the obstacles from our path.

Another hurdle was to find a person to substitute me during this period. Someone who had given consent said no at the last moment. By then I had understood how obstacles are to be tackled! I offered the prayer to Swamiji and kept on. When least expected, a person with whom I was just talking to regarding the issue offered her help (this person was probably not one I would have asked at all!)

Divine play and miracles galore! For sure that is one’s path to Inner Awakening….

For more information, see https://innerawakening.org/

A climb and a waterfall!

A short story about an adventurous trip!

On our recent visit to Rishikesh, our host went on and on about a waterfall near by, a must visit but lesser known and hence less crowded by tourists! And hence, the decision to visit the place was unanimous despite the fact that it involves climbing up a mountain!

We reached the foot hill and found the beaten track which may be called a path going uphill. To our dismay, there were a number of tourists mostly coming down and I wondered whether it would be as crowded up there as well! Anyway, we build our moxie up, readying ourselves to go on our first mountaineering trip (for me at least) and started up. The humid weather, lack of physical exercise and the climb uphill got me within 10 or 15 minutes but my desire to witness the beauty of the waterfall (the description of which was so vivid still in my mind) was such that I persevered.

In a little while I could see our friend (the host’s wife) also was huffing and puffing. Since the waterfall was not in sight, which I thought was probably because of the cover of the trees, we asked some people coming down how far we had to climb. Not one but several of them replied “oh, only a little more” (may be better expressed in hindi – bas, thoda sa aur!) and boosted our morale that we are about to witness a wonderful natural beauty. Again we mustered our courage and persisted.

Well, along with encouragement, there were discouraging people as well. A middle aged man, climbing down saw us two ladies and said: “Well, it is not possible for you to get there, better settle down here somewhere, have a picnic and go back.” Thinking back, we were only half way to the waterfall when we received this comment. Though we didn’t say anything, this comment made our will even stronger to reach the top, however long it might take us to climb.

The kids were having the time of their lives…hiking for the first time, excitement about the waterfall and much more than that, an interesting story to tell their friends…

Finally, after about 30 minutes climb, we reached the top of the mountain (well, not exactly the top, but almost!). I must say I was disappointed at first. I have seen wonderful falls like athirapally in kerala and compared to them this was just a stream…for a minute I thought the whole thing was a blunder. The torture of the climb, all the sweat and aching  muscles, all for this!  But just for a few minutes!

The rest of our group (except me sitting and mulling over) had already found the perfect place – a small pool under the fall (manmade, using some sacks of sand, stones etc) and were enjoying the cool water. Well, nothing to lose! I too joined in. We all were under the stream in no time, taking turns soaking in the cool medicinal water rolling down the cliff and it was so refreshing that all the physical and mental tiredness vanished! It was so rejuvenating that no one wanted to get out of the water or start the journey back.

But alas! day was running out and it was not wise for us city dwellers to linger on the mountain during dusk and we reluctantly started on our way back…

Though a short picnic, it was the blend of all perfect components –exciting, exerting and energizing! And the memory of the trip continues to be as fresh!

 

<a href=”https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/moxie/”>Moxie</a&gt;

Life’s tailor-made…

Isn’t one’s life tailor-made for oneself?

The path is my own, no one else can walk.

The struggles on the way, the tussles,

All the fails and the heartbreaks are custom ware!

 

At times I can run, many a times crawl,

Image courtesy: https://www.thehikingchronicles.com/hiking-trails/diagonal-path-up-table-mountain/

Stride on, even when no path’s in clear sight.

You can walk along or hold my hand for some,

But oh! It’s a path I have to make and tread myself.

 

Not just hurdles but the triumphs and gains,

You are indispensable and share with me,

Lift me up, hold support and scold even ,

All though the fact remains, it’s a path tailor-made!

 

 

 

prompt – <a href=”https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/tailor/”>Tailor</a&gt;

 

Sunny?

Sunny was not what I expected the day to be when we started from our home today!

A short tale of our today and the hurdles it brought along with…

I knew it is monsoon time, I knew there was prediction of rain, but I was not in the least prepared for what happened today…

We started early as it was a six hour drive if there are no traffic jams and the best time to avoid traffic is early in the morning. But we faced our first hurdle for today just after 30km, a five kilometer stretch of bumper to bumper traffic with cars even on the muddy side roads as well! A small stretch of road had caved in with a truck in it blocking all traffic. Well, we crossed the hurdle in about an hour and the best thing to be appreciated was that there were a lot of patient drivers on the road today as I could hear only very few honks. I calculated the time again and said we still would reach our destination at a decent hour. I must admit, my calculations and predictions for today were utterly wrong!

Our second hurdle came just after the next hour in the form of dark clouds bursting through the sky! The monsoon rains brought water logging with it and a portion of the highway was completely under water. There was no way any vehicle could maneuver through the water without the engine dying and traffic again came to a dead stop. After a while we were directed to circumvent the portion of the waterlogged highway by driving through some villages in the periphery. But to our utter dismay we found that three roads through different villages were all water-logged. We even had a little scare when we thought our car engine might die while going through one stretch of water!

After going around in circles for more than two hours, we finally managed to find a road where the water-logging was not so bad and got out of the area, back on track. The worst thing was that we drove around 25 kilometers and spent three hours, just to circumvent around 5 kilometers!

There was another hurdle on our way today, but that is not as important or interesting, so it is better left out!

On our way forward after the water-logging, I could see that the problem was not just the fields or canals overflowing, but the lack of drainage system. Water-logging even after a little rain in big cities like Delhi and Mumbai are very infamous, but today I saw that it is the same in other cities and villages as well!

Rains a blessing and a pain at the same time!

Image source: google.com

 

Prompt – <a href=”https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/sunny/”>Sunny</a&gt;

 

Illusion

Some good, some bad and some mellow,

We tag all the people we come in contact,

Our mind a sorting factory, constant bellow,

Picking our attitude and behavior every instant!

 

Image courtesy-https://steemit.com/psychology/@juvyjabian/the-psychology-of-personality-why-is-it-important-to-understand-our-own-personality

Isn’t life as we know it just an illusion?

Wealthy or poor, scholar or illiterate

Appearances may differ, characters define

Truth begins where illusions get over!

 

 

prompt – <a href=”https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/illusion/”>Illusion</a&gt;

Polished..

Appearances many a times may only be deceiving,

Polished looks, sophisticated ways and fluent language,

Just not define a person, only fool the eye,

Many though give in to these ways of the world.

 

True purity is fragrant (Jasmine) Courtesy – google

Where heart is pure, words true and acts genuine,

Compassion, generosity and harmony not just words,

Clothes only need to be clean, not fashionable,

Truly  a truly polished person, I would say!

Tags: Polish

Friendship

I had a best friend some years back. We spent quite some time together every day, sharing every tiny detail of our lives, taking care of our kids together, turning to each other for support and what not! Then came a small misunderstanding which blew out of proportion and we became distant for a couple of years, to the extent that we refused to recognize each other when our paths crossed! Even though we made up after that, the friendship was the never the same. Again a couple of years later, we parted ways. It is difficult to say who hurt who but fact remains – a friendship which was so dear once upon a time is lost forever!

I think of her quite often though without so much malice now. But will the distance between us ever fill? Will our friendship renew?

Got me musing about friends and friendship though!

“Our best friend is he who loves us in our best part”. In a more positive way, I would say: he who encourages you to descend to the lowest level in you, who drives you to do stupid things with him or become vicious along with him or approves all that is vile in you is not your friend.
The Mother

Friendship with the Divine Canna indica Courtesy – motherandsriaurobindo.in

In reality, you should take as friends only those persons who are wiser than you, whose company ennobles you, helps you to transcend yourself, to progress, to act better and see clearer. And finally, the best friend that one can have, is it not the Divine! the Divine to whom one can say everything, disclose everything, because here is the very source of all kindness, of the power that effaces every error when it is no longer repeated, which can open the path to the true realisation; the Divine who can understand everything, cure everything, who helps you on the way not to waver, not to falter, not to fall down and who leads you straight to the goal. He is the true friend, the friend in good and bad days, who never fails you. When you call him sincerely, he is always there to guide you, to sustain you and love you in the true way.

The Mother

On reflection, I think it’s time to rethink, not be disheartened about lost friendships but rather move on!

 

tags: friends, Distant

Imagine..

Open your mind, look beyond,

Imagine possibilities, they’re unlimited,

Think of all you can achieve,

Not just next step but much far ahead!

 

Dare to dream, travel through the stars,

Do not despair, opinions will change,

Align your head, heart and life, no doubts,

You become what your imagination is!

Imaginary